In one of his famous quotes, Einstein suggests a definition of insanity as doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. As a process improvement professional who focuses day-in and day-out on how to make things work better, this makes perfect sense. On the other hand, as a human being, I sometimes struggle to not fall back on old patterns and beliefs that keep me stuck in ways of managing situations–such as those involving conflict–that don’t achieve the results I want.
While I truly believe that the best way to save time and minimize effort is to stop doing what doesn’t work, situations still pop up where old, nonproductive ways of viewing and managing conflict come back to haunt me like the ghost from Christmas past. Sound familiar? It seems that just as a river takes the path of least resistance, our minds tend to become stuck in old patterns of reaction and action that are easier to follow than any new and improved pathway in the brain we work hard to create and maintain.
Thankfully, just as Ebenezer Scrooge learned through his ghostly time travel that his past didn’t have to dictate his present or future, there are ways to manage conflict, such as the conflict that can occur in shared-parenting relationships, that lead to less stress and anxiety and more peace and harmony. One of these ways is the practice of mindfulness.
In short, mindfulness is a technique in which individuals become intentionally aware of their thoughts and actions in the present moment–non-judgmentally. Mindfulness supports us in remaining present– grounded in the here and now. In the present moment, with focused vision and a heightened state of awareness, we become more open to new information and the possibility of seeing more than one perspective.
With multiple perspectives to consider, there is greater opportunity to choose from an array of heart-centered and compassionate choices for reacting to conflict. Choices that lead to creative solutions and support outcomes that serve the highest good of all involved–just as in the end, with a new perspective, Ebenezer Scrooges choices did.
“Few of us ever live in the present. We are forever anticipating what is to come or remembering what has gone.” ~ Louis L’Amour
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